From the Outside Looking In

Yesterday I did a session with a group of middle school girls from Baltimore to talk about issues/concepts raised in the first five chapters of Glori, which include peer pressure, self esteem, family life, and relationships. The group was particularly interested in my relationship with Rakeim and all of the times that I turned a blind eye to his blatant displays of disrespect. They couldn't understand why I didn't just leave this person!

I explained that we often ignore warning signs when it comes to relationships. We want to believe that the person we're with is really the person we've created in our heads. But the girls just weren't getting it! Finally, I asked them to raise their hands if they had a boyfriend, and many of them did. I then asked them if that boy has ever said or done anything disrespectful to them. Many of them giggled and nodded their heads.

It's easy to look at a situation from the outside and say that someone should leave or that they deserve better, but we need to be strong enough to turn that critical eye on our own relationships. Maybe we deserve better. Maybe we should leave. It took me three and a half years to see that. The sooner we learn that lesson, the better off we'll be.

xoxo,

Nicole

Monday Morning Mantra - 2/23

Happy Monday, my dears!

Here is our Monday Morning Mantra:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -- Maya Angelou

Make it your goal this week to make the people around you feel good about themselves.

Email us to have the Monday Morning Mantra emailed right to you each week! (type "Mantra" in the subject line)

Love,

Nicole

Never Too Cold for Ice Cream!

We could all use freebies these days, right? And even though it's bitter cold here in Maryland, I'd love some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream right now - free of charge. :) So why not sign up for Baskin-Robbins' Birthday Club? They'll send you a coupon so you can have a free treat on your special day!

New Baskin-Robbins flavors include Chocolate Covered Strawberry Sundae, Chocolate Chip Truffle Shake, SuperFudge Truffle, and Love Potion #31.

Life is just better with ice cream, right?

Have a great weekend!

Nicole

Let in The Sunshine

Today was a cold, snowy, rainy day, and it reminded me of how good sunshine makes me feel. There's nothing better than waking up and opening all the blinds in the house to let the rich sunshine in. It just lifts your spirits and gets you ready for the day.

If you're one of those people who doesn't open the blinds, see the difference when you do. You'll miss it on cold, rainy, snowy days. Promise!

Nicole

Monday Morning Mantra - 2/16

Happy Monday all!

Here is your mantra for the week. We have to work hard for what we want. Nothing worth having is just handed to you, right? So whatever you're seeking this week, work hard for it, and you'll see the fruits of your labor. Promise!

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work." -- Stephen King

Email us to have the Monday Morning Mantra emailed right to you each week! (type "Mantra" in the subject line)

Have a great and productive week!

Nicole

My First Real Valentine's Day

Saturday is Valentine's Day - a day when millions of women anticipate some token of affection from that "someone special." I've always been one of those women - even when I was a little girl I made sure I had a full bag of Valentines from my classmates! I don't really have expensive taste - no need for a Tiffany box placed strategically on the kitchen table when I get home - but I've always liked flowers, cards, special treatment, etc. (Note to my husband: for the record, this doesn't mean I would be disappointed with a Tiffany box)

But this is the first year that I really don't care about any of those things. I was married last October, and I've never been happier in my relationship. Donté, my husband, and I dated for six years before we were married, and we experienced the many growing pains of a maturing relationship. (We rode the emotional roller coaster until they closed down the theme park, okay?!) But now, we've finally reached a point that I wouldn't call perfection but rather contentment and connection. Having been through the ups and downs, this state of things is the best Valentine's Day present I could ever receive.

This morning Donté left for Florida on a business trip, but before he walked out the door, I went downstairs and sat on the couch next to him. We didn't talk much. Every now and then we enjoyed the silence. I just held his hand and relished in how simple things seemed and how much I love this man. It was the sweetest box of chocolates, biggest bouquet of roses, and most expensive piece of jewelry I've ever received.

Happy Valentine's Day, guys.

xoxo,

Nicole

The Importance of Friends - Beyond the Obvious

Last Friday, I attended the Sister to Sister Heart Health Fair at the Verizon Center in Washington DC to network and learn about heart health (my grandmother passed away of heart disease when I was in college so I've always tried to support these types of events). My good friend, Kendria, came along as well to promote her wedding planning business.

I brought a copy of my book because I knew a local radio DJ, Tricina Grey, would be there, and I'm always looking for opportunities to get on the air and spread the word about Glori. But when we walked into the crowded arena, and I caught site of the WHUR booth, can I just tell you that I completely lost my "cool," and had no desire to approach Ms. Grey!?!??! I'm not sure if it was the hustle and bustle, the feeling that she might not want to be bothered, or what, but I turned right around.

If it hadn't been for Kendria, that book would still be sitting in my bag. She shook me back into reality, told me I better not leave without giving Ms. Grey a copy of my book, and walked me back over to the booth. (What would we do without friends who lift us up when we need it most?) In the end, Ms. Grey was completely gracious and told me many of her listeners have teenagers and would love to hear about my thoughts on the current state of teen pregnancy. She took my book, and my card, and I'm eagerly awaiting her call. :)

Thanks, Kendria, for giving me a swift kick in the butt. I needed it!

Nicole

Monday Afternoon Mantra- 2/9

Good afternoon all!

Sorry the mantra is late today. I've had a splitting headache since yesterday and have been a bit slow to start. Eeks!

Here's your mantra for the week:

"Never work just for money or for power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night." -- Marian Wright Edelman

Set your sights on being fulfilled this week!

Love,

Nicole

Facebook Celebrates 5th Birthday

Are you the only person on the face of the earth who still doesn't have a Facebook profile? Today Facebook, an online social networking site, celebrates 5 years of connecting people. It has also become the world leader for this type of thing - surpassing MySpace.

I avoided creating a profile on Facebook for as long as I could until I read that online social networking can be beneficial to a business, and I'm in the process of growing mine! But once I joined, I quickly became addicted. Catching up with old high school friends, seeing pictures of my readers, and meeting new people has been really fun!

For those of us already on Facebook, go by the Facebook gift shop and pick up your birthday gift!

So just give in already. I'll be your first friend!

Nicole

Ben Carson Movie

Here's a great movie to lift your spirits this weekend - "Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story". It airs on Saturday, Feb. 7th at 8:00 PM on TNT, and Cuba Gooding Jr. is playing the part of Dr. Carson who is an amazing pediatric neurosurgeon at Johns Hopkins Children's Center here in Baltimore, MD.

Dr. Carson overcame a challenging childhood, which included poverty and being raised in a single-parent home, low self-esteem, poor grades and more to become one of the nation's 20 foremost physicians and scientists (according to CNN).

I have a feeling this will be a tear-jerker. :)

Monday Morning Mantra - 2/2

Happy Monday guys!

What a Superbowl last night, right?!?! It was a nail-biter until the very end!

Today's quote really sums up the importance of dreaming big. Although they didn't win, the Arizona Cardinals made it to a point that many never thought possible. The same can be true for you.

"You see things, and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'" -- George Bernard Shaw

Dream big this week, and don't let anyone make you doubt yourself!

Nicole