Lance Armstrong Comes Out of Retirement

I was so glad to read that Lance Armstrong is coming out of retirement to try for his 8th Tour de France win. Armstrong inspired us all by winning seven consecutive Tours despite his testicular cancer diagnosis in 1996. His new challenge will be winning the Tour despite his "old age" (by biking standards). He will be 37-years-old next week.

Armstrong's tendency to take the challenges in his life head-on shows that nothing is too big to tackle in our lives. The things we might perceive as our downfall - cancer, old age, tremendous odds - may be the very things we need to take us to the next level. Because of his perseverance, Armstrong has become a voice for more cancer research funding, a major American icon, and a philanthropist through his Lance Armstrong Foundation.

Take notes guys!

Click here to read about Armstrong's comeback.

Palin Teen Pregnancy Controversy

Last Friday, Republican presidential nominee John McCain announced his V.P. pick, Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska. And over the weekend the buzz of a virtually unknown female vice presidential candidate heightened with the news that her 17-year-old daughter is currently five months pregnant.

Once again, the issue of teenage pregnancy has been thrust into the limelight with another high-profile case. Just as the frenzy over Jamie Lynn Spears had died down, Bristol Palin's saga is just beginning.

On Tuesday, I was contacted by The Baltimore Sun for an article they were doing on the controversy. During the interview, I made three main points:

1. I wasn't altogether shocked by the news that Bristol Palin is expecting. After all, I know first-hand that teen pregnancy is not reserved for a certain group of people, a socio-economic class, or a geographic region. It's far too complex for that. It can happen to anyone, anywhere. From Hollywood to Alaska to Virginia Beach, Va. The sooner we accept this and stop making it "their" problem, the sooner we can really make progress in preventing teenage pregnancy and helping young families get on their feet.

2. Which brings me to my second point. We need more support for pregnant and parenting teens! While many people rally behind prevention efforts, there is so little support or funding for helping young mothers get an education, become financially stable, etc. I'm not sure what we're afraid of. Helping young families will not increase the number of pregnancies in teens. Instead it will break the cycles of poverty and teen pregnancy that plague so many families, and it will help the children of these young mothers. It will give them a better chance in life. How can we not support that?

3. Lastly, I hope that Bristol Palin's decision to marry the father of her child is not being forced upon her. I don't believe that marrying for the sake of a baby is the right decision. I joked with the reporter about what the divorce rate would be if we all married the people we were dating when we were 17. Scary thought, isn't it?! Marriage is such an important and sacred thing. Even when two people love each other to death it requires hard work. Everyone suffers - including the child - in an unhappy union.

Bristol Palin is in a good situation. Fortunately, she will not have to "pull herself up by her bootstraps." She has the support of the Palin family, which means she will fare far better than the majority of young girls who find themselves in this situation. I'm hoping that instead of just talking about teen pregnancy, this situation will prompt us to actually do something. Let's look at it differently and stop treating young mothers like pariahs. Governor Palin has recognized that her daughter can't do this alone. She needs help during this difficult time. Don't all young women deserve the same?

To read The Baltimore Sun article, please click here.

Wishing you love and blessings,

Nicole

Where is Nicole?

Hey everyone,

I apologize for my lapse in posting. I'm still getting used to this blogging thing! I've also been very busy working on a second book (yes - it's finally underway!), and scheduling a ton of speaking engagements. So check the "Upcoming Events" page on my website to see when I'll be in a town near you!

There are a lot of really exciting things happening with NicoleInk. Very soon you'll be seeing more products and events geared toward helping you make positive changes in your life and business. And everything is based on feedback I've been getting from YOU. I always want to make sure NicoleInk products are need-based.

So stay tuned! If you aren't already receiving the NicoleInk newsletter, please sign up on the NicoleInk homepage. It's another great way to stay in touch!

Wishing you love and blessings!

Nicole

The Anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Death: A Message for Today

This morning, as I drove Nerissa to school, the voice of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. filled the car and overpowered the conversation. His "I've Been to the Mountaintop" speech, which he gave in support of the striking sanitation workers at Mason Temple in Memphis, TN on April 3, 1968 — the day before he was assassinated, was so clear and fresh, it sounded like he could have been in front of a large crowd somewhere at that very moment. And the things he discussed - a dangerous world, threats to individual freedom, war and poverty - are issues that plaster the front pages of newspapers and are featured on the evening news even today.

The Washington Post published an article today that talks about this very thing. The times change. The heroes fall, but somehow what they fought for is still there in various forms. Yes, Dr. King fought for love and equality, but he also very much opposed the Vietnam War and championed the rights of low-income and impoverished people. My daughter believes that all of Dr. King's dreams were realized because she is able to sit next to children of various races in her classroom, but the reality is, he had many dreams for a better world. While that particular dream has come true, many others are still far from reality.

Today reminded me that I need to teach Riss about all of the things Dr. King fought for. It also reminded me that those fights are still being fought. We have a war going on that is taking precious lives. We have people living in deep poverty right in our own cities. We have inequalities -- while not always as obvious -- that still translate into horrible circumstances for various groups of people, such as women, homosexuals, African Americans, Native Americans, and many other minorities.

To read Dr. King's final speech, please click on the link below. His words are haunting and powerful in light of the fact that he left this earth the very next day. His closing remarks are as follows:

"Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord."

http://www.afscme.org/about/1549.cfm

I don't know about you, but I'm inspired.

Love you guys.

Scary Stats on Teens and Infectious Diseases

Okay girls. I've talked to you about achieving your goals, avoiding unhealthy relationships, how to get money for college and other very important things, but here's one that is of the UTMOST importance. Respect and love your bodies. Abstain from sex. Protect yourselves. And that goes for my teen mothers too.

The first national study - a part of the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey - on four of the most common sexual diseases revealed statistics that are shocking. Nearly fifty-percent of African American girls ages 14-19 are infected with one of the four most common STD's; human papillomavirus (HPV, which can cause cervical cancer), chlamydia, genital herpes, and trichomoniasis (a parasite). The report found that twenty percent of Caucasian girls are infected with at least one of these diseases. And among all infected women ages 14-19, fifteen percent had more than one disease. Looking at the larger picture, about 3.2 million teenage girls are infected with at least one of the diseases.

I know people tell you all sorts of things like "If he loves you, he'll wait" and "You're worth waiting for," and they're all true. Very true. But obviously, they're not sinking in. How about this? BE DIFFERENT. If nothing else encourages you to protect yourself, how about being different? Too many girls are giving in to sex and the things that guys are telling them, and they're putting their health and their futures at risk. By saying no, you're standing out from all the rest, and I guarantee you that guys will respect you for it. You want to be a different story.

And if you have a child already, that doesn't mean that you're "damaged goods." Your body is always your temple, and saying no to sex says a lot about you as a strong mother and woman.

At the very least, please protect yourselves, ladies.

I believe we can all defy the statistics whether they be statistics about teen mothers not amounting to anything, teenagers on the road to nowhere, or too many young girls walking around with serious STD's.

BE DIFFERENT.

To read more about this study, please click here.

Love you guys.

Saw "Juno"!

When I saw the previews for "Juno," I realized it wasn't just a movie I wanted to see, but a movie I HAD to see. "Juno" is the story of a young woman who gets pregnant during her junior year in high school. What follows is her 9-month journey, which includes all of the ups and downs of an unexpected pregnancy as well as a few shockers.

Juno (Ellen Page) was refreshing for so many reasons. She is not helpless and dim-witted like teens are so often portrayed. Instead, she's a witty, smart and strong-willed young woman who doesn't really care what people think. Similarly refreshing was her relationship with the father of her child, a nerdy but sweet guy named Bleeker (Michael Cera of "Super Bad"). Although their relationship isn't clearly defined, at its foundation is a loving friendship that endures everything.

The movie made me think about my own experience - taking several pregnancy tests because I just couldn't believe the results (Juno does the same after downing an entire jug of "Sunny D") and being freaked out by the idea of abortion. It also made me laugh, which is something most people don't associate with teen pregnancy. Laughter. My experience has taught me that even out of the most tragic moments in life, you can find laughter and hope. I'm glad this movie echoes that.

In the end, Juno decides to give her baby up for adoption. Because of my own experience, I talk a lot about keeping the baby and raising it yourself. "Juno" shows an alternative, which can also be very difficult. What a noble decision it is to give your baby to a family who can't conceive.

Ultimately, "Juno" proves that teen pregnancy isn't a black and white issue. It doesn't just happen to "certain people" with "certain circumstances," and the outcomes vary. What is most important, however, is the need to love and support each other no matter what our circumstances and our decisions. That's the biggest lesson in "Juno," and one I am thankful for.

Five Dating Tips for Single Moms

I met Jamal at a club during a friend's birthday party. He was attractive, flirtatious and overly confident, which was strangely off-putting and intriguing at the same time. While the strobe lights flashed and the music pounded, we exchanged numbers. When the phone rang the next day, I was excited to find out more about him.

Now there is no such thing as the perfect man, but there is such a thing as a good fit. And Jamal was not a good fit. Early on in our conversations, he revealed that he had an infant daughter living in another state, was barely paying child support, and hadn't seen his little girl in months. The red flag went up for me immediately.

As a single mother of a 3-year-old daughter, I was turned off. Needless to say, Jamal didn't last long.

Dating as a single mother is very difficult because there are so many things to take into consideration. You're not as carefree as the next girl, and your decisions about who to date will have an impact on you as well as your child. So here are five tips for making the dating process a little easier to navigate.

1. Know What You Want
This is actually a great tip for any woman, but especially single mothers. Knowing what you want out of a relationship and the type of man you want to be with prevents you from wasting your time. If you've been through enough bad relationships, you'll have an idea of what you want. Someone who values fidelity. Someone who respects your goals. Someone who isn't insecure. I had been through a relationship that lasted three and a half years and involved so many bad elements that I felt like I'd been in five awful relationships all at once. By the time everything was over, I had a really good idea of what I wouldn't put up with and how I wanted to feel when I was with someone.

If you haven't been through a bad relationship, do a little happy dance around the room! When you're done, sit down and write down all of the qualities you're looking for in a man and in a relationship. In Jamal’s case, we didn’t share the same value for parenting so he didn’t make the cut. Once you’ve written these things down, review the list whenever you meet someone. Sometimes a pretty face or a charming personality can make us forget what is important to us.

2. Think About Your Kids
I know this seems obvious, but there are so many women who get into relationships without thinking about the effects it will have on their children. Realize that if the relationship becomes serious, this is someone who will be an influence in your child’s life. That means, if they have a potty-mouth, your children will be exposed to that. If they drink too much, your children will see it. If they lose their temper when you argue, your children will be right there. Identify the person’s characteristics and think about whether you want your children exposed to that. Things witnessed in childhood can have a lasting effect.

3. The Six Month Rule
It can take a while to see a person’s true colors or to determine whether or not a relationship is really going somewhere. And in the beginning, you may just want to have fun and not take it too seriously. For these reasons, I suggest enacting the “Six Month Rule,” which means shielding your children from the person you’re dating for at least six months. This is good for so many reasons. One, it results in one-on-one quality time that often gets hampered when children are running around. Two, it allows you to get to know the guy before introducing him to your children. And three, it prevents your children from getting attached to someone who may not be around long. When my husband and I started dating, he would come over after 8PM – my daughter’s bedtime.

4. Find a Good Dad
By this I don’t mean rush out and look for a father for your children! Being a good boyfriend doesn’t automatically mean he will be “Father of the Year.” In your case, you want both. Make sure he has a love of children, is responsible, values the role of a father and wants to spend time with his kids. Also, make sure he doesn’t have any hang-ups about raising someone else’s child. It’s important that he will eventually be comfortable raising your child as his own.

5. Strike a Balance
Once you’re in a serious relationship with a man who shares your values, meets your standards, is great Dad-material, and has met your children, you’ll need to make sure there is a healthy balance in your life between mother and girlfriend. If the scale is tipped to one side or the other, your relationships will suffer. When I met my husband, I had devoted every day to my daughter so it was difficult to make that necessary shift. Other women may get so caught up in their new relationships that they spend less and less time with their children. As a woman, finding this healthy balance can be difficult, but once you’ve mastered it, you’ll see the benefits.

Dating wisely as a single mom will result in a happier future for both you and your children. The need to date responsibly for my daughter surely saved me from additional heartbreak and helped me find the man I am married to today. By using these tips, you will be investing in your own happiness as well as your family’s. Happy dating!