From the Outside Looking In

Yesterday I did a session with a group of middle school girls from Baltimore to talk about issues/concepts raised in the first five chapters of Glori, which include peer pressure, self esteem, family life, and relationships. The group was particularly interested in my relationship with Rakeim and all of the times that I turned a blind eye to his blatant displays of disrespect. They couldn't understand why I didn't just leave this person!

I explained that we often ignore warning signs when it comes to relationships. We want to believe that the person we're with is really the person we've created in our heads. But the girls just weren't getting it! Finally, I asked them to raise their hands if they had a boyfriend, and many of them did. I then asked them if that boy has ever said or done anything disrespectful to them. Many of them giggled and nodded their heads.

It's easy to look at a situation from the outside and say that someone should leave or that they deserve better, but we need to be strong enough to turn that critical eye on our own relationships. Maybe we deserve better. Maybe we should leave. It took me three and a half years to see that. The sooner we learn that lesson, the better off we'll be.

xoxo,

Nicole