The Number One Way to Overcome Perfection: Realize Nobody's Perfect!

We seem to think everyone else has "perfected" life, and we're the only ones scrambling around.  At work, the person in the nice office has "perfected" their job.  In our neighborhood, the next door neighbor with the pristine garden has "perfected" domestic life.  On double dates, the other couple has the "perfect" relationship.

I don't think so.

The number one way to let go of the ideal of perfection (which, by the way, will make you crazy) is to realize that NOBODY'S PERFECT.  There are some people who are great at what they do.  Great does not equal perfect.  Under the right circumstances, an honest person will tell you that. 

And even the Oprahs and the Donald Trumps of the world aren't perfect.  Lots of money does not equal perfect.

So stop thinking you're the only one who can't find their socks in the morning! 

Nicole

PS:  Like this post?  I talk about this in even more detail in my new book.  Check it out!

Top 5 Priorities in Life

Last week's Mantra was about simplifying life by setting priorities.  This method has proved effective for me.  Yesterday, I was telling my husband that I was going to have to say "no" to a worthy cause if I wanted to stay sane.  Bottom line?  It's not in my top 5 priorities right now. 

Nicole's Top 5:

1) God
2) My husand and family
3) My friends
4) My work
5) Chocolate chip cookies (okay, okay, this one is really "experiencing new things")

So I asked some Facebook folks what their top 5 priorities are, and here's what I got:

1) God 2) my family and my puppies 3) work 4) my boo and my friends and 5) my car -- Kathy

1. love, 2. relationships, 3. education, 4. exposure to new things, 5. travel -- Dena

1) GOD!! 2) My family 3)My career/money 4) Planning this wedding..LOL!! and 5) Just trying to live better and be the best me I can be. -- Sylvia

Set your top 5 priorities and see how simple life becomes!

Nicole

The Superwoman Syndrome

This week, we're supposed to be thinking about not overloading ourselves - not taking on too much. My husband would say that I am not an expert on this issue. He constantly asks me, "How are you going to do all of that?" and my response is usually, "I'll make it work." I definitely suffer from the "Superwoman Syndrome" that so many of us suffer from. I think and want to do it all.

I like what our Mantra for this week says. Majora talks about a more strategic approach to things, one that will help us achieve the same results without eating up all of our time and energy. I remember when I decided to tell the world about Glori. At first, I wanted to write a screenplay, but that just seemed too overwhelming because I didn't know the first thing about writing movies! So I decided to write a book instead, and in the end this was the better approach. I was able to get my story out there, into the hands of people who needed it, and now I can use the book as an outline for my screenplay (which I'm working on now, with the help of a book about how to write movies!). This is a great example of thinking of a more strategic approach to our goals.

Let me make it even simpler. I love to cook, but between a growing business, writing movies, two daughters, a husband, and a house to keep up, cooking gets squeezed in. I've learned that my crock pot is my friend. I love putting all of the ingredients in, and then walking away only to discover hours later that there is something delicious in there! Again, a more strategic approach!

This may be something you struggle with as well. So I hope you're thinking of ways to approach your goals more effectively. You can still be Superwoman - you just have a crock pot under your cape. ;)

Nicole

Tips for Not Wasting Time

Our mantra last week was about not wasting time. Imagine all of the things you could achieve if you got down to business! I asked some of my Facebook friends how they stay on top of things, and I heard back from Sherese Seevers who said, "Make a to-do list." Great advice Sherese! This is also one of my tried-and-true practices. It keeps me on task all day long. If it weren't for my to-do list, I'd be LOST!

Here's some more advice for effective time management:

http://collegetimes.us/4-steps-to-becoming-a-time-management-master/

Love,

Nicole

How to Make Good Decisions

Last week Goldie Hawn had some advice for us on how to make good decisions. I asked you guys if you had any, and here's some of what you had to say:

"Pros and cons lists, never make [a decision] in [the] heat of emotion, take all of your family into consideration when making the decision... [and] WWJD?" -- Hazel Coleman

"If the rush to buy suddenly overwhelms you, walk out!" -- Joseph Edward Brimmer

Both of these great pieces of advice were posted to my Facebook profile ("Nicole Lynn Lewis"). Thanks for your words of wisdom guys!

Nicole

Advice on Teamwork

Last week's Mantra was on the importance of teamwork in reaching our goals. I asked for your tips on teamwork at home or at work, and here is what I got back:

Find what you're good at .. and stick with it! I'm not a good cook, the Mr. is and that's where he helps out a lot. If he cooks, I usually clean the kitchen or load the dishwasher. I pay the bills (online), run errands and PLAN. That's my thing! I feel that once you find your strength, THAT's where you help your family most. -- Marina Sue Hancock Mathews (via Facebook)

Great advice! Have any more words of wisdom? Share them with us!

Nicole

Further Evidence on the Subjectivity of Success

In my September newsletter I talked about the subjectivity of success - meaning success isn't always measured by dollars and cents. In fact, I'm learning that it is never defined by dollars and cents.

Well, my husband forwarded me an email from Family Life in which someone further reinforced my theory. Here is the excerpt below:

A friend sent me an email posting from Ruth McGinnis, a Nashville recording artist and author, who had recently been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. In the midst of her ordeal, God began reframing the definition of success in her life:


One of the most powerful insights I’ve had as a result of this unexpected detour in my well-planned life is truly understanding that the value of my work—the books I’ve written, my instrumental recordings, the speaking and performing I’ve done for countless years—has nothing to do with commercial success. I always thought that to be “successful,” I would have to register in the marketplace with some measurable impact, like making the New York Times best-sellers list. As a result, even though I’ve enjoyed a rewarding career as a creative person, I’ve always felt that somehow I’d never quite arrived—that my life was incomplete. Having cancer has forever changed this. The cards, letters, gifts, phone calls, and emails I’ve received from people I know—and many I’ve never met—have revealed to me that the reach of my work and the value of my simply being here is greater than I ever could have imagined. I am convinced this is true for each one of us. That we all tend to be hard on ourselves and measure our achievements against harsh standards. We fail to appreciate our own contributions, and we forget to acknowledge the gifts, beauty and efforts of others. I will never think of success, fulfillment and contentment the way I used to. Cancer has swept the veil away from my eyes—has given me a new way of looking at life and rethinking everything. It is an unexpected gift.

Your life will be measured, not by the amount of money or power or fame you gain, but by the way you allow God to touch others through you.

How do you define success?

Nicole

Three Ways to Deal With Rejection

Rejection isn't an easy thing to deal with, but let's be honest, it's something we're never going to be rid of! From relationship rejections to job rejections, it's here to stay. So how can we deal?

It Wasn't Meant for Me
Everything isn't for everybody. Accepting a rejection is easier if you realize that it might not have been the best thing for you after all. Sometimes something seems like the perfect opportunity, but that may not be the case. Think of it as life's way of steering you in the right direction.

Something Better Awaits
While this didn't work out for you, something else will, and it will be even better. Concentrate on the excitement of better things to come and let that fuel your efforts. Staying positive takes the focus off of the negativity.

Everyone Gets Rejected - EVERYONE
Sometimes we forget that even the most accomplished people have dealt with rejection. No one is immune, believe me! You'd be surprised at how many famous authors, singers, athletes, politicians, etc., were told NO before they got their big break! So don't take it personally.

The Best Way to Break Bad Habits

The other night I was watching a documentary on a female chain gang at a jail in Arizona. It was a really eye-opening look at what it means to be on a chain gang, and how these women dealt with life in jail each day. The leader of the chain gang was a young woman who landed in jail because of her addiction to Methamphetamines (sadly, the majority of the women on this chain gang were in jail for meth-related crimes). However, she was thriving as a model inmate, and she took her job as chain gang leader very seriously.

So when she was released from jail everyone had high hopes for her - even the guards. Her mother made arrangements for her to live in a halfway house that would help her get her life together. Unfortunately, the halfway house wouldn't admit people on the weekends, and she was released on a Sunday. This meant she had to wait an entire day before she could begin the program at the halfway house.

When she showed up the next morning, she was high. She was so belligerent, the halfway house had to call the police to have her removed from the property. With nowhere to go, she taunted the police until they finally arrested her and brought her back to the prison she had just left a little more than 24 hours before.

When asked how she could fall back into the trap of drugs after having come so far, she said simply, "Stay away from your old friends and your old hang-outs."

This seems to be one of the best ways to avoid succumbing to our old bad habits. We need to stay away from the familiar. It's very rare that we're strong enough to resist temptation when we go back into environments that surround us with the things we're trying to stay away from. It's also extremely difficult when the people we are with are participating in those bad habits.

If you're trying to turn over a new leaf or to make some positive changes in your life, remember to "stay away from your old friends and your old hang-outs." You're fooling yourself if you think you can break a bad habit any other way.

Nicole