An Inspiring Eulogy

Before getting on a plane for Alabama on Monday, I went to the wake of a good friend's mother who recently passed away. It was a sobering moment - one that reminded me that life is so fleeting and that I don't want to waste one minute of it. My friend, Erica, has been a an example of strength through this whole thing, and when she sent me her brother's eulogy for their mother, I realized just how wonderful a person and parent Gabriel K. Chan really was:

If this has taught me anything, it's that life is uncompromising, but if there is anything my Mother taught me, it's that you shouldn't compromise your life. My Mother is the perfect example of that. Through adversity, she let her light shine through and succeeded in living a "full" life. She got to travel the world and see sights that many us may not get a chance to; she started and ran a successful business for many years in a time when many business would come and go; she gave to numerous charities for she believed in sharing what she earned; enjoyed the little things in life. that could easily be over looked; but most importantly she dedicated herself to giving Erica, Priscilla and I a life with meaning and purpose. She did nothing less than an extraordinary job at giving us a warm, loving home, and raised us to believe that if we believe in ourselves, that we would be capable of doing anything. When I think back at how my Mother lived, I can honestly say that I do Believe. I believe in LOVE and that it is more than just a four letter word... that it is genuine feeling with endless potential. I believe in the word "family" and all the love and support that can grow from it's roots if planted and nurtured correctly. I believe in the way you can effect and change the world in small ways that you may not even be aware of it... just like my Mother did. But mostly, because of my Mother, I believe in life. In all the wonderful possibilities and dreams you can have and all of beauty we are all capable of seeing and creating. She was all of these things... love, family, change, life... my MOM. I can never thank her enough for instilling me with such undying love and faith, but I hope I can live on her dreams, her possibilities and make her proud of the fact that I aspire to be a full, complete person, just like her. I know that with the endless love and support of my family and friends, and that of my Mother's that is so deeply buried inside of me, that the cracks in my heart will fill only causing my heart to grow bigger. In the face of this hardship, we should all find the courage that my Mother had and not only remember her life, but remember how she lived.Rainer Maria Rilke wrote, "...let happy memories sustain you if your strength fails you, they are always there, and their current does not run backwards, even across foggy country it floats toward the future." We are so lucky to be able to share so many.

Love,
Nicole

Reflections on Good Friday

It's Good Friday, and I'm thinking of what happened on this day. I'm thinking about death and what it brings into our life - sadness, grief, worry, emptiness.

When my Mama D died - a woman who was like a second-mother to me - I remember feeling this tremendous void. I realized that I couldn't call her anymore. I couldn't pick up the phone and hear her voice. She would never again say those encouraging words when something was going wrong for me. I couldn't feel her arms around me or see her face brighten up when my daughter walked into the room. I realized that she would never see me get married, have another child, or do all of the things I told her I wanted to do with my life.

Death is something I don't think we'll ever understand. It is an ever-present reminder that life is precious, and that we can't take one second of it for granted.

But on this day, I'm also reminded that in just a couple of days, we will celebrate Jesus' rise from death. This is something to look forward to. This is hope. And so even in death, there is hope. There is hope that some good will come of this passing or hope that this person is watching over us or hope that somehow we will carry on that person's legacy. Even in the worst moments - in the intense emotions of losing someone - there is always hope.

I miss Mama D dearly, but I know that she's proud of me. I know she is in a better place, and she isn't suffering anymore. That gives me so much hope for the future. Hope that I can pass on just a small fragment of what she gave me to others.

On this Good Friday, be reminded that there is always hope.

Happy Easter.

xoxo,

Nicole