Teen Pregnancy Prevention Beyond May

As a former teen mom, one of the questions I'm always asked is how do we prevent teen pregnancy.   Now that my oldest daughter is 11-years-old, it's a question that is at the forefront of my mind as well.  My answer has less to do with the debate over comprehensive vs. abstinence based sex education in schools and more to do with strengthening family bonds at home.

My own experience coupled with the conversations I've had with teens all over the country is that the biggest influence on sexual behavior is the health and communication of the family.  If things are bad at home, the risk for teen pregnancy goes up.  "Bad" can mean something as extreme as molestation or an alcoholic parent to something as commonplace as not enough quality time spent together as a family and broken lines of communication between a father and daughter.  

In addition to the overall health of the family, communication about sex and relationships needs to start at an early age and it needs to be real, age-appropriate, and non-judgmental.  It's never too late to start an open dialog about sex in your home.  

Kids don't come with manuals.  Navigating parenting is difficult, so I recommend getting some resources in your hands.  Here are some great resources on parenting in general and talking about sex with your children that will take teen pregnancy prevention beyond the month of May:

General healthy family information:
 
FamilyLife (a Christian organization that helps marriages and families thrive)

Parenting.org (a site developed by the Boys Club)
Medline Plus parenting resources

Talking to Your Kids about Sex:

Resources for parents from The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy 

Resources for parents from Answer


Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge (a book I'm reading now with a realistic Christian perspective)

There are a bunch of resources out there.  Go to your local bookstore and see what you can find!  If you're interested in my story, please click here. 

Happy parenting!


Nicole

Why I Love "Precious"

On Tuesday, I finally saw the movie "Precious," and I was completely blown away. If you are the only person on the face of the earth who hasn't seen it, please rent it. It is a painful and touching look at the realities of physical and sexual abuse that so many children face today. Mo'Nique won a well-deserved Oscar for her role as a very disturbed and sick mother, and within the first few minutes of the movie, I forgot that she is normally the fun-loving sidekick in so many comedies.

What did I take away from "Precious"? So many things, but most importantly that the role of Parent is both an honor and privilege, and our effectiveness as parents can either breathe life into our children or completely devastate them.

After watching the movie, I just wanted to hug and kiss both of my babies. Make sure you do the same.

If you want information on effective parenting, check out these resources:

http://www.kidshealth.org/

Healthy Place

Family Education

Love,

Nicole

What Can You Offer a Child?

This week's GS Radio show asks the question, "Are You Ready for Motherhood?"

We thought it was a great topic considering that we celebrate Mother's Day this month and that May is Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month. Also, there are so many women out there who are wondering if it's the "right time" to have a child.

One of the questions I suggested people ask themselves before having a child is, "What Can I Offer?"

I don't mean financially. I mean emotionally and spiritually. Often times when we think of bringing a child into the world, we think of it in terms of what that child can bring into our lives. In other words, how can it enhance our existence? How can it makes us happier? The real question is, how can we enhance their existence? What can we offer this human being in terms of our beliefs, perspective, outlook on the world, etc.?

What we sew into our children will dictate what they put out into the world. So if we offer them them selfishness and anger, then that's all we can expect them to give to others. Think about what dominates your life right now - what are the things you put the most time and energy into? Those are the things you can offer your child.

For those of us who are already mothers and parents, let's remind ourselves of this question every day. Children are sponges. What are our children soaking up?

Nicole

Balancing Worklife & Parenting

I'm finally settled back in from my trip to San Fran and L.A., and I thought I'd share with you some of the things I covered in my session during the Summit. I facilitated a learning group on balancing work life and parenting. I'm sure many of you can relate. :)

While I allowed the ladies to swap ideas, I also gave them three tips that I share with many groups on how to breathe life into your relationships with your children:

The Power of Praise - Have you ever noticed how good you feel when someone praises you? It lifts your spirits, and it makes you want to come back for more! Sometimes we're too critical of our children, and that can have the opposite effect.

Happy Hello's - I used to pick my daughter up from daycare with a cell phone glued to my ear. I realized that this was the wrong way to greet her. I now have a rule that I end calls before heading inside to pick her up, and I always try to have a smile on my face.

Take Inventory - My mom is a really talented painter. Sometimes she gets down on herself if she feels she hasn't shown her work in enough galleries. I often remind her of all the things she's accomplished, including raising two healthy, accomplished daughters. As moms, we don't step back and look at the big picture enough. We are helping to mold and create loving, kind human beings. That's quite a feat!

I'm learning that these simple acts can do wonders for any relationship. I see the effects they have with my little Riss every day.

Nicole