Monday Morning Mantra - 08/23

Hey everyone!  

It's Mondaaaaaaaaaay!  This past weekend I celebrated my youngest daughter's first birthday with a nice barbecue in the park.  We invited family and friends, and although it was sweltering hot, we had a blast.  It was one of those special afternoons in which you feel surrounded by so much love.  

So I thought this week's Mantra could be about nurturing our relationships - making sure we're treating our loved ones the way they deserve to be treated.  We want to have successful relationships in addition to great careers, thriving businesses, etc., right?  

"Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable."

 

  -- Dr. Joyce Brothers

 

Loving the right way - the way that Dr. Brothers talks about above - is so important as we strive to lead full lives.   

This week, think about your relationships with family and friends and ask yourself if you're loving openly and without manipulation. 

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Have an awesome week!

Nicole

From the Outside Looking In

Yesterday I did a session with a group of middle school girls from Baltimore to talk about issues/concepts raised in the first five chapters of Glori, which include peer pressure, self esteem, family life, and relationships. The group was particularly interested in my relationship with Rakeim and all of the times that I turned a blind eye to his blatant displays of disrespect. They couldn't understand why I didn't just leave this person!

I explained that we often ignore warning signs when it comes to relationships. We want to believe that the person we're with is really the person we've created in our heads. But the girls just weren't getting it! Finally, I asked them to raise their hands if they had a boyfriend, and many of them did. I then asked them if that boy has ever said or done anything disrespectful to them. Many of them giggled and nodded their heads.

It's easy to look at a situation from the outside and say that someone should leave or that they deserve better, but we need to be strong enough to turn that critical eye on our own relationships. Maybe we deserve better. Maybe we should leave. It took me three and a half years to see that. The sooner we learn that lesson, the better off we'll be.

xoxo,

Nicole

Balancing Worklife & Parenting

I'm finally settled back in from my trip to San Fran and L.A., and I thought I'd share with you some of the things I covered in my session during the Summit. I facilitated a learning group on balancing work life and parenting. I'm sure many of you can relate. :)

While I allowed the ladies to swap ideas, I also gave them three tips that I share with many groups on how to breathe life into your relationships with your children:

The Power of Praise - Have you ever noticed how good you feel when someone praises you? It lifts your spirits, and it makes you want to come back for more! Sometimes we're too critical of our children, and that can have the opposite effect.

Happy Hello's - I used to pick my daughter up from daycare with a cell phone glued to my ear. I realized that this was the wrong way to greet her. I now have a rule that I end calls before heading inside to pick her up, and I always try to have a smile on my face.

Take Inventory - My mom is a really talented painter. Sometimes she gets down on herself if she feels she hasn't shown her work in enough galleries. I often remind her of all the things she's accomplished, including raising two healthy, accomplished daughters. As moms, we don't step back and look at the big picture enough. We are helping to mold and create loving, kind human beings. That's quite a feat!

I'm learning that these simple acts can do wonders for any relationship. I see the effects they have with my little Riss every day.

Nicole